I was working on a social media post this week and started thinking about something.

Am I weird? I mean, I say it all the time. Weird is wonderful here. It's on our website. It's part of how we talk about ADAC. We have Weird Creature Wednesday, where I find some of the strangest animals on the planet and basically say, “Look at this ridiculous thing. Isn't it amazing?” But then I started wondering what my weird actually is. I'm right-handed but all four of my kids are left-handed. I have no idea how that happened. Apparently, my genetics looked at me and said, “Nah. We're going another direction with this one.” 😂 I'm fascinated by unusual animals. Different cultures. History. Random things I find on YouTube. And I mean random. I can start watching something because I want to learn about one particular thing and somehow, three hours later, I'm watching a video about something I didn't even know existed. I ask a lot of questions. I get excited about things other people might consider completely uninteresting. I paint. I swear. And I have never been particularly good at pretending I'm not interested in something just because it isn't what everybody else is interested in. So maybe I am weird. But here's the thing I've learned from working with people for a very long time: Being different and being wrong are not the same thing. We spend an incredible amount of energy trying to figure out whether we're normal. Am I too emotional? Am I too quiet? Am I too loud? Why don't I like the things everybody else likes? Why can't I do things the way everyone else seems to do them? Why does this seem easy for everyone else and so damn hard for me? And somewhere along the way, “different” can quietly become “bad.” That's the part I don't like. Because what if the thing you've spent your whole life trying to get rid of is actually one of the most interesting things about you? What if your curiosity isn't a problem? What if the way your brain makes connections is actually pretty damn fascinating? What if you're not supposed to fit neatly into the box somebody else built for you? That doesn't mean everything about us is wonderful all the time. Being human is messy. We screw up. We hurt people. We have things we need to work on. Acceptance doesn't mean we never grow. It means we don't have to hate ourselves into becoming someone we're not. That's a pretty important distinction. So am I weird? Probably. But I've decided I'm okay with that. And maybe that's what I want for the people who walk through the doors at A Different Attitude Counseling. I don't need you to convince me that you're normal. I don't need you to make yourself smaller. I don't need you to hide the parts of yourself that don't fit neatly into somebody else's expectations. I'd much rather get curious about them. Because weird is interesting. Weird belongs. And around here? Weird is wonderful. 💜 — Margaret

You are enough!

You are enough! You are enough! It doesn’t matter how many times you hear those words you won't believe it. It doesn’t matter how many times I tell someone those words it won't matter. “You are enough” doesn’t matter until you believe “I AM ENOUGH”.

You see people's perceptions of us can only go as far as what we believe about ourselves. In order for me to believe your “You are enough” I must first believe my own “I AM ENOUGH”.

But where does our “enough” come from? Where do we get our sense of being “enough”? Does it start with our parents and their ability to show us unconditional love and support? Does it come from our friendships and relationships? How do we know we are enough?

Society tells us that we are “enough” when we have achieved certain standards. When we make a certain amount of money or have a certain lifestyle THEN we are enough. When we have a heteronormative relationship bound by the arctic principles of marriage in accordance to a higher power sanctioned ceremony THEN we are “enough”. When we have reached some sort of pinnacle of the collectives definition of “enough” we achieve the level of “YOU are enough”. But how to we achieve “I AM ENOUGH”?

“I AM ENOUGH” starts with examining our own inner standards separate from those of the collective. In learning how to be grateful for all of the things we do have rather than those things we don’t. “I AM ENOUGH” comes from the realization that no relationship can define you until you are able to define yourself. She/He loving you won’t make you enough until YOU love you. In the same way you know that when you love someone else you love them faults and all you now have to understand that you loving you is the same. You love you despite the flaws, mistakes, and disappointments. That you wouldn’t be YOU without those bumps, bruises and scars. Why is it that we can so readily give our hearts to someone else unconditionally but withhold it from ourselves? Don’t we owe it to ourselves to be at least as kind to ‘us’ as we are to others?

“I AM ENOUGH” means that right now, right here in this moment I know that I am the best me I can ever be, warts and all and that is enough.

The flower

Do you know how perfect you are? 

Perfection what does that even mean? Websters online dictionary defines it as: the state or condition of being perfect

: the act of making something perfect or better : the act of perfecting something. Perfect....when it can't get any better. Okay, but who gets to decide the standard we are comparing to? If you are using other peoples "ideals" of perfect we can never achieve perfection. Every single person on this planet will have a different idea of what perfect means to them. That is 7 billion different perfects!! How can you possibly live up to them all? You can't. 

That is why you have to accept yourself and love yourself EXACTLY the way you are right now. For this one moment in time you can say "I am perfect just as I am".

what do YOU see?

What do YOU see?

What do you see when you look at this picture? Some people would pass right by this and not even notice. Some people will look at it and see just a weed; something to be pulled and thrown out with the trash. Some people will see childhood memories of ‘checking to see if you like butter’ by putting it under a chin. Some people will see it as the beginning of a wish. In a few days you will be able to blow on the petals and make a wish. Some people with see a little bright yellow flower. Some people will see the beauty in this little flower because they can see all that it is and all that it will be.

In our lives we have the same situations with the people around us. Some will not even notice us. Some will think we are garbage. Some will use us. Some will try to wait until we change into something else. Some will just see our outsides. And then there are those who will see all of us. The beauty that is us because of all we have gone through to get to where we are now. All the adversities have made us stronger and more resilient. All the things we are now and all the potential of what we can become. They will accept us as we are and allow us time to mature and grow at our own pace. They will appreciate all that we have to offer and be glad that we are in their yard (life). Those are the people we want around us. Those are the people who love us. Those are the people we need.  

Your value

Do you know what this is a picture of?

Raw, uncut, unpolished diamonds; what most would consider the most beautiful stone in the world. Here it is in its purest form. With some hard work this stone will be brilliant and alive with color and clarity. The beauty is already there it just has to be uncovered; discovered! That diamond cannot be the brilliant stone it is meant to be without going through all the steps it takes to cut each facet. It must feel all the rubbing of the polishing cloth. All the grinding of the craftsman’s tool. It has to go through these changes to become its magnificent beauty.

Like the diamond we have to go through some cutting down, some grinding, and some polishing. Sometimes we don’t see our true worth because we are going through the cycle of trimming off the excess and unneeded negative parts of ourselves. We haven’t finished with the polishing all our many facets. Once we have cleared away all the outside pieces, those pieces that make us feel less than or unworthy, we sparkle and shine. The fact of the matter is no matter what your past, your ‘outside’, your self-doubt tells you about yourself you are a beautiful sparkling amazing spirit that just needs a little polishing to shine bright like a diamond. 

Rachel Platten - Fight Song (Official Video)

Music is ........ LIFE!   Play this at least ONCE today and FEEL it!!

The end is where we begin

‘‘The end’’ is where we start from. ‘The end’ of a bad day starts in the morning with a fresh new day. ‘The end’ of a bad relationship starts with the tingle of new love. ‘The end’ is where we start from when we’ve no idea where to start.  Often you hear people say they are at ‘the end’ of their rope, I think we have all felt that way at one time or another, and then they wake up the next morning and start again. ‘The end’ is not final, it’s just a comma in the sentence of our lives. When you begin to see ‘the end’ as a new starting point it no longer holds the same feelings/meaning as before. You start to look at your life differently and understand how many new chances you have to change things around you.

Too many times I hear people talking about feeling trapped or frozen and what it seems like they mean is they don’t see any new options. All they see is ‘the end’ of whatever is before them. ‘The end’ of a plan, ‘the end’ of a dream, ‘the end’ of a feeling. What they aren’t opening their eyes to is the limitless possibilities all around. Very seldom are there ‘no other options’ available. It may just be the other options don’t hold any appeal for you. When you start looking at ‘‘the end’’ as a ‘new beginning’ you are opening yourself up to so much more. Instead of staring at a closed door you look at all the open doors, windows, escape hatches, and portholes and see new opportunities to go farther than you ever thought possible. You no longer limit yourself to one plan or idea.

Think of it this way. When you look into the night sky you see stars. In the city, sometimes not many are visible because of the distractions (lights, smog, etc.). If you never go outside the city you might always think that’s all the stars in the sky that is ‘the end’ of the number of stars. Then one day you take a trip to the desert and look up into the night sky. Now there are so many more stars than you imagined. It almost seems impossible to count them all but you eventually could get to ‘the end’ number. And even then, even with all those stars in the sky, if you were to look from a slightly different perspective, say using a telescope, you would see even more! An infinite number of stars. Every time you think you have come to ‘the end’ of counting the stars you find a new way to count more.

So the next time you find yourself feeling sad, down, or angry because of ‘‘the end’’ remember to look at the new beginning you have been given and start again.